


born in the afterlife

by okaywhatever



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Soulmate AU, aka sana is a ghost and haunts momo and they like each other, ghost au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 14:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12170952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okaywhatever/pseuds/okaywhatever
Summary: love had never been a major part in sana's life.and then she died.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> aaa after MONTHS of procrastinating and working on this it is finally done...  
> really hope you all enjoy this !!!!

She had been here before, done it all once, twice, maybe even more times than that. The feeling was that of an intensified deja vu, of trying to remember a dream minutes after waking up, the memories still vivid in her mind yet distant and hard to recall.

Once she realized what was going on it all felt natural to her, and now thinking about it, everything to it was cliché.

First came darkness so intense it made her grow unfamiliar with her own senses, then for a second, a sharp and unbearable pain that took over her body, it lasted so little that she even doubted it ever happened, but then it moved to her chest; breathing felt impossible, but also unnecessary.

A bright light sparkled upon her and by nature she tried to squint her eyes, only to realize the action was pointless as the dazzling light had no effect on her.

Almost instantly her mind was flooded with memories she never remembered forgetting. Most of them made no sense, though once they had all sinked in she knew exactly what they meant.

She started remembering names, faces, and stories from what she once lived, they weren’t from this last time around yet it all felt fresh in her memory, especially _her_.

It amazed Sana the way she could forget everything every single time, she used to find this irritating, but by her 4th time it just became part of the routine

_Okay_ , she thought, _here I go again._

But then she didn't.

This time it was different, the feeling was one she had never experienced. She had done this so many times that it felt almost impossible to not recognize what was going on.

She felt confused.

Then she felt nothing.

Darkness.

She woke up.

She was home. Kinda.

She found herself in what had once been her home.

Now it all looked different, felt new and unknown. Where the dining room was supposed to be she found what seemed to be a living room.

The kitchen was still the kitchen, but not her kitchen.

'It's all wrong' Sana said to herself.

Her curiosity beat her confusion, and before she knew it she was heading to her room, or what was supposed to be her room. Just as she was expecting nothing was like she remembered it, but it still surprised her. You could even say it made her mad.

She realized that these four walls no longer contained her memories nor story, they now were someone else’s, and that made her upset, so upset that without meaning to things around her, such as book on shelf’s, and picture frames on tables, started shaking and falling to the ground.

Sana was starting to make sense of what was happening, and it scared her.

A mirror was on the other side of the room and when she walked towards it she saw nothing else but the reflection of a place that no longer belonged to her.

She looked at the mirror for what felt like hours, knowing she wouldn't succeed but still trying to find her reflection. Only when her tears made her vision blurry to the point she could barely see, was she able to find herself in the mirror.

It only lasted a couple of seconds before it disappeared again.

Now what? She thought.


	2. Chapter 2

She didn't try to understand it anymore.

She was stuck. Period.

The more she looked for an explanation the more it felt like there was none to be found.

After a few years she reached the conclusion that this was better than doing it all over again, than starting from zero. At least now she was able to remember everything she had ever lived, everyone.

She grew to like roaming around the earth as someone dead rather than someone alive. She had been on it as a living person so many times before and this was finally something new for a change.

Time also taught her how to do some "cool spirit stuff", as Sana herself called them; it was all about channeling her energy correctly. At first it seemed close to impossible, but now, being able to teleport, move stuff and making apparitions all felt like second nature to her. But still, she chose not to do most of these things often, Sana tried to interact with those around her as little as possible.

Ironically enough she now found the living scary, she couldn't help but think about what would happen if someone tried to exorcise her, call a priest on her or something like that. She had no idea and refused to find out, so as a result of this new found fear she spent her days unnoticed...ok most of her days, sometimes it was fun to give a scare or two to whoever came across her.

When she was starting to get bored of doing nothing with her days other than reminiscing memories of what she once lived, a new person came into Sana's life- after life.

 _Finally_ , the spirit thought, _took her long enough._

*******

Sana had to admit it.

She sucked at being a ghost.

Nothing she did seemed to get her noticed by the girl that had just moved in into what used to be the spirit's house. Nonetheless, Sana refused to let the entire blame fall on her. If she had to be honest the girl wasn't a big help to her cause either, she remained unfazed by everything. Sana swore she could go poltergeist on her and make the entire house shake and she would think it was probably just the wind or something ridiculous like that.

Sana was starting to run out of ways to try to make her presence known, and actually having to make an appearance seemed to be her only choice now, but that was the last option in her list, not only cause it required an insane amount of energy which left her tired for days, but also because it would either one- give her new roommate the scare of her life- or two -fail completely as the other girl could disregard it as being a product of her imagination, or something of that nature-.

*******

"Why are you so clueless?!" Sana screamed at Momo who was currently eating dinner.

"I've been waiting for you for DECADES, you know! The least you could do is give me some attention!"

No response.

"No? Nothing?!"

 Sana knew she couldn't be heard right now, she wasn’t trying to be; she really was expecting no reaction from Momo, but screaming at her helped get some of the frustration off.

"MOMO!"

And for the first time in months the girl seemed interested in her surroundings.

_Had she heard that?_

Momo stayed still for a few seconds.

"...Momo?" Sana repeated, this time in a whisper; she saw the eyes of the other girl go wide in surprise as she shook her head, she then stood up and headed really _really_ fast towards her room, locking the door behind her.

"Looks like we're finally making some progress" The spirit said, this time only to herself.

*******

Being honest, Momo noticed things were weird in this house the minute she stepped into it.

Some rooms were inexplicably cooler than others, lights would go on and off on their own, and there were strange noises all the times, she swore she even heard someone call her name once.

Momo had always been a believer of ghosts, but not once she imagined she'd have to deal with one on her own, so she just...didn't. She hoped that if she ignored it long enough it would just go away, maybe it'd get bored or something. Isn’t that how ghosts work?

The plan of ignoring whatever supernatural thing living in Momo's house was going fine, everything ran rather smoothly, she was even getting used to it. But then, the dreams started.


	3. Chapter 3

Once Momo read online that the human brain is unable to make up entire new faces, and given that for a while now she had been dreaming with some random girl over and over again, that thought hadn’t been able to leave her mind for a second.

Who was this person? Where had she come from? And how did she feel so real?

A while after moving into the house Momo had started seeing this girl, who she had never met before, in her sleep. Eventually these dreams started feeling so genuine that sometimes she would wake up confused as to whether they had really happened, but had somehow been forgotten and buried somewhere deep in her memory.

Things started getting too intense even for Momo to ignore once she started waking up every night around 4 am, feeling overwhelmed by an unknown sadness, sometimes tears staining her cheeks, and with a room temperature being abnormally low for a summer night.

Half the time the light of her room would be on when she opened her eyes, the other half they would turn on on their own while she inexplicably cried for hours, feeling the deepest melancholia of her life.

She often fell asleep crying, she never stopped to question what was going on, she couldn't, whenever this happened sorrow completely took over her, blocking any thought that wasn't that of how broken and lost she felt in that moment.

It had gotten too much for her now, not only was she getting the worst sleep of her life, but the intense feelings that she would wake up to almost every dawn left her feeling unwell for the rest of the day.

She wasn't aware of how bad she was looking until she had to repeat the phrase 'I'm OK, just tired" to Mina 19 time -she counted them- in order to convince her that nothing was wrong. She also had to sit through a 25 minute long talk about how "friends can and should tell each other everything", and those were never fun.

Momo couldn't quite figure out why she didn't want to tell her best friend about this. She guessed it had to do with the fact that it made no sense at all, how could she explain something that she herself was barely able to comprehend. There was no way she could tell anyone about this without them thinking she had completely lost her mind.

*******

It took her exactly 7 weeks, but Momo was finally able to confront whatever it was that kept having this effect on her.

During one of the many 4 AM episodes a sleep deprived Momo managed to put out the words "Stop it! Are you doing this?" out between uncontrollable sobs that seemed to come from somewhere deep within her, from somewhere unknown to her, from a place that had a life of its own.

"...Why?" She continued, directing the question at what she assumed was a ghost, who had been living with her for the last couple of months.

Immediately after spurring those words out she was overcome with guilt, and self-reproach.

"D-did you do that?" Momo asked referring to the unexplained feeling that was taking over her.

"What do you want?" 

Nothing.

Momo’s voice sounded like a whisper now, and her words seemed to be getting lost in the dark "Are you there? Who are you?"

Sana was frozen.

She couldn't think of anything to say or do.

She had been making the life of this girl a living hell for the last couple of months, how could she face her now?

Being quite honest it wasn't her intention to do so, she really never meant to hurt Momo, but after being lonely for almost 30 years you could say she had a lot of unresolved feelings bottled up inside of her, and though Momo didn't know it yet she had always been Sana's safe place, the person Sana ran to whenever she needed someone, and so when she arrived the spirit without even meaning to passed her emotional baggage onto the girl, never imagining it would have this effect on her.

If human feelings were difficult to work out, then ghost feelings were impossible.

And now here she was, Sana had been waiting for this moment for decades, her chance to finally reconnect with Momo and get to move on, and now that her girl was in front of her, reaching out, trying to talk, she just shut down.

Sana thought this had to be some cosmical joke that the universe was playing on her.

She was nervous, scared of talking to Momo. How could a girl who she had grown to know practically everything about feel like a complete stranger right now? It still baffled Sana that ghosts could get scared, and not only that but they also happened to have the worst timing to do so.

Both Sana and Momo stayed still, not saying a word, unsure of what to do and with no expectations of what would happen next.

Sana was just staring at Momo, using the fact that the other girl couldn't see her to her own advantage. She stared for a while, observing how the moonlight creeped through the window and illuminated half of Momo's face, the other half completely lost in darkness. She thought -like she had so many times before- how beautiful Momo was, and how lucky she was to be hers.

As she sat on her bed Momo was flooded by the feeling of being watched; it didn't bother her at all.

By now her eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness of the room, and also to the feeling of having a heavy pair of eyes over her. She even found some comfort on this, for it meant she wasn't alone; somehow she thought being lonely in the dark would be even scarier.

She fell asleep with the assurance that someone was watching over her.

After that night she stopped waking up at 4 AM, the dreams continued though, but they were just that. Dreams. She forgot about them a while after waking up, however she never forgot that one girl. It felt as if she was engraved on Momo's mind, actually part of her life.

Momo started to wonder if said girl was a real person she had once met.

Momo _also_ started to wonder if it was possible that she was losing her mind.


	4. Chapter 4

The first time it happened Momo swore she was still sleeping; she opened her eyes and saw **the** girl sitting at the foot of her bed. She got startled for 5 seconds but before she knew it her eyes were being defeated by sleep and closing once again.

The second time she woke up to the feeling of someone moving around in her bed, she thought it was her cat but then realized she didn't really have a cat....and so that thought alone was enough to convince her that she was imagining things and forced herself to go back to sleep.

It is said three time’s the charm, and so on the third occasion of getting her sleep interrupted, Momo finally questioned if all of these had really been a dream. The daylight, barely peaking through her window, shone enough light onto the room to grant the sleepy girl the view of a walking figure going back and forth around the room, as if waiting for something to happen.

Momo didn't move for about 10 minutes, spying on the unknown presence with one eye opened while the other one remained shut as she pretended to be asleep.

_If the ghost- is that even a ghost?? - doesn't know I'm awake, then nothing will happen, right?_

The girl/ghost/thing didn't seem to notice Momo, and so she quietly praised herself for having such great acting skills, but soon enough she started to get bored.

A possible GHOST was in front of her and nothing was happening, shouldn't it be more exciting than this...? And so she decided to make a move.

Before she could think about it twice and regret it, she shouted "W-WHO ARe you?" her voice gradually getting lower as the sentence progressed, she didn't mean to initially shout like that, and the stuttering was also not part of the plan.

Another thing she also wasn't expecting was for the ghost to give a little shriek right after Momo spoke and then immediately disappearing.

Had she just- did she just scare a ghost off??

Out of all the scenarios Momo had imagined in those 10 minutes she spied on the spirit this was definitely one she did NOT prepare for. So now what? But before she could think of what to do next someone else decided for her, and the same girl from seconds ago magically reappeared in the middle of Momo's room giving her quite a good scare.

None of them said a word, both being new to a situation such as this one.

Momo thought for a few seconds about how useful it would be if life could come with a manual of what to do in case you come across the spirit of some random girl because she was kinda lost right now, to say the least.

Sana fantasized about how easier things would be if the afterlife included a tutorial on how to approach the love of your life who, by the way, didn’t remember you at all. It would also be handy if the tutorial included a section on how to control your ghost powers cause it took her a while to figure it out and being quite honest that had **not** been very nice and-

_Sana, focus! You're kinda in the middle of a situation right now!_

After being brought back to reality Sana thought now would probably be a good moment to do some explaining -or try to- in a way that this didn't sound completely surreal.

She did so by doing what she has always done best, word-vomiting:

"Hi, I'm the spirit that has been haunting you for the last couple of months, I'm sorry about that, by the way, also, I'm sorry for all the trouble I've been putting you through, I didn't mean to, if anything I would just want to protect you from getting hurt, I would die for you, actually I'm pretty sure I've done it before, but that's a story for another time anyway, w-why are you not talking?

The girl didn't take a single breath throughout that long ass paragraph, not like she needed to anyway, ghost don't really require the whole breathing thing, but she still did it, out of habit she supposed.

Momo remained quiet, like any other person would be in this situation; she was probably a _little_ bit shocked.

For a minute Sana doubted if Momo was even breathing -and that thought was honestly terrifying cause one dead girl was more than enough- but before she could freak out about it the girl broke her silence.

"....I'm Momo...."

_Cute._

"I know" Sana said, this time with a smile escaping her lips.

".....Um, who-who are you?"

Momo couldn't understand why but she felt no fear at all, maybe it was because everything about this was so ridiculous that her brain just couldn't grasp it and had decided to completely shut down, but then that wouldn't explain all the questions that were running through her mind.

All she felt was just immense curiosity, and a necessity to know what this was about, and who the hell the girl standing in front of her was.

What is she doing here? How did she get here? Who is she? Did she just like walk out of her dreams into her life- wait is she dreaming right now?

Upon hearing Momo's last question Sana was tempted to answer 'the love of your life', she giggled at the idea, but decided against it as it would only make this situation more confusing for Momo, who clearly was struggling enough already.

"I'm Sana" She simply replied, imitating the previous statement given by the other girl.

"....Sana...." Momo repeated.

_I've heard that before, was it in my dreams?_

"Uh, what are you?" She thought for a second and then added "Are you real?"

"Isn't it kinda obvious that I'm a ghost by now? Also I'm pretty sure I'm as real as you are"

Blink. All Momo could do was blink.

_So she really is a ghost huh._

The more answers she was given the more confusing everything got, she wished she could pause life right now, at least for a minute, she just wanted  a moment to let everything sink in, cause this was all happening way too quickly for her to grasp it.

One minute she was excited about living alone for the first time in her life, and the next one she's playing the lead in a Casper the Friendly Ghost reboot. How does that even happen?!

"Wait no, let me try again. You see, the thing is..." The ghost had been trying (and failing) to explain an unexplainable situation for about 5 minutes now; stumbling over her own words, stuttering, correcting herself at least 3 times per sentence, and repeating the same idea over and over again.

Momo had stopped listening after a few seconds. A ghost was haunting her house and that's all her brain could manage to understand for now, she couldn't afford to care about the details.

Her concentration was also robbed by the way that the girl in front of her kept ranting and struggling with her words, it was rather amusing. She even dared to call it cute.

For a minute she got really weirded out by the fact that she had just called a ghost cute but…did anything about this make any sense? Not at all, so she might as well just embrace the weirdness of the entire situation and accept that yes, the ghost in her house was a pretty cute one.

Thinking back to that day Momo realizes that the decision of just accepting this unusual situation that she found herself in was just the beginning of it all, it was like dipping the tip of her fingers into waters that she would be swimming in for a very long time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...........buzzfeed unsolved and chill...

Momo made sure to do her homework, homework meaning hours of hard and meticulous research about ghosts and their nature…also known as clicking every single link that shows up in Google after typing in "ghost" "what to do if my house is haunted" "i can see ghosts what do i do" and any other variations; she then somehow ended up binge watching buzzfeed unsolved for at least 3 hours, for research purposes, obviously.

While being indulged in one of the episodes she heard an exasperated sigh right next to her followed by an "ugh."

"You know, if you're curious about ghosts you could just ask me" Came the voice of an annoyed Sana.

With no hesitation Momo automatically replied to her "Shut up, I'm trying to watch something here"

Only after saying the words she realized she had just talk back to a _ghost_ , though it had felt as natural as if she had done it a hundred times before.

The ghost said nothing, just stared at Momo and slightly curved her lips to form a barely noticeable smile, but Momo still catched it.

"I'm just saying, what's the point of watching ghost videos when you have a ghost right next to you" Spoke Sana

This time Momo paused the video, turned her head towards Sana and met her eyes.

_Goosebumps_

"We-Well I doubt your story is as half as interesting as this one" She said as calm as possible.

When she was about to press play once again the ghost made an exaggerated groan and got ready to rant about how 'so much more interesting she was than a most likely fake and fabricated story on the internet',  as she called it in the middle of screams and protests.

Well, looks like Momo is stuck with an unnecessarily loud and whiney ghost.

Fast forward 20 minutes of verbally fighting a spirit and Momo finally found herself able to continue her YouTube marathon, but only that this time she was accompanied by no other than Sana, who by now had agreed on the fact that these videos were 'fascinating' and 'extremely intriguing.'

"What do you mean there's no more?!" Shouted the ghost.

Momo still couldn't get used to the girl’s high pitched voice; it was probably the only nerve wracking thing about this spirit. Every time Sana opened her mouth Momo feared for the well being of her hearing. "Yeah that's all, gotta wait a week or something for another one" She replied after quickly recovering herself from almost going deaf.

"WHY?!"

_And Momo goes deaf again._

"That's not fair” Continued the spirit while ignoring the living girl who was struggling with Sana’s tone, “they don't even give a conclusion to the case!"

"Well, it's called unsolved for  a reason" Momo said putting emphasis on show's name, immediately realization hit Sana's face as her mouth shaped like an "O".

Now that the video wasn't there to fill the silence of the room, Momo worried about what to do next. How do you approach a ghost? Should she just continue as if it was nothing special?? So far it had worked, but before she could think about it too much the spirit broke the silence.

"Maybe these guys should just like cover my story or something" Because she said it rather low Momo wasn’t sure if the statement had been aimed at her, and though she doubted about whether she should reply or not, her curiosity beat her to it, "What is your story?"

Sana only crooked her head to the side as a response, which Momo took as an indicator that her question had been too broad, and decided on specifying it by saying "How- How did you die?"

"Ah" Responded the girl, "Fire." Ironically enough Momo felt a shiver run down her spine upon hearing those words.

When it was clear Sana wasn't planning on giving any further explanation Momo decided to speak next, “I see" she said, and without giving it much thought she shot a second question "And why are you here? I mean, stuck?"

Sana found it cute, Momo's curiosity, it was something any human would do in a situation such as this one, but because it was Momo, it was still cute, everything the girl did was cute, Sana had reached that conclusion almost a hundred years ago.

"If I knew the answer to that I wouldn't be here now, would I"

"Hm, I guess"

*******

Later that night after strangely bonding with Momo, Sana kept thinking about the question the girl had asked her earlier, why is she here?

Her last time around on earth as a human, Sana hadn’t come across Momo for the first time on her existence, and so for the last 3 decades she had been convinced all she had left to do was meet Momo in this lifetime and done, she would cross over to the other side. But she was done with that deed and still stuck on earth, so what was she supposed to do now?

She got tired of thinking about it after being unable to find an answer and decided to ignore it for now; eventually it would get sorted out...

_...Right?_


	6. Chapter 6

Now that Momo and her ghost were on friendly terms, Momo started enjoying this entire thing of being haunted much more. She even found it to be quite convenient, especially at times when doors opened on their own for her, when despite it being summer her house remained cool, sometimes she'd lose her keys or wallet and then they'd magically appear on the kitchen table some minutes later, one time the ghost even folded her laundry!

In light of this extra kindness the spirit had been showing lately, Momo decided that she wanted to do something nice for her and return the favor. She hadn't actually seen the dead girl for the last week, and though right now it seemed to be as if she were alone in that room, Momo knew better than naively believing she had no company at the moment, "Spirit!”

When nothing happened she doubted if anyone other than her was listening to her words, but then she could feel a presence behind her, "You can just call me Sana".

Quickly Momo turned around and a smile appeared on her lips after seeing the image of the friendly looking ghost.

"Okay, Sana" She corrected herself, "I want to help you".

Sana frowned in return as she tried to think of ways in which a human could help someone of her kind, what could an almighty and powerful…ish ghost need from someone like Momo.

"I mean move on, I want to help you move on" She finished.

Momo noticed confusion leave the ghost's face and instead concern filled her eyes, "You want to get rid of me?" She asked with a hint of worry.

"Not at all!" Momo replied quickly scared that she could hurt her feelings; Sana could hear the sincerity in the girl's voice.

Momo really had no ill intentions behind this; she wasn't looking to get rid of the ghost for her own benefit, actually, she had started liking having Sana around, but the more thought she gave to the idea that her ghost had been here for so many years, the heavier her heart felt for this girl.

"I just thought that you'd want that, isn't that what all ghosts are after?" Momo explained herself, "I doubt anybody would like being stuck".

Sana felt her non-existing heart warm at the concern that was being shown to her.

"Why, thank you" She scratched the bridge of her nose deep in thought, "But how exactly do you plan on doing that?"

The question caught Momo by surprise as she didn't really have a plan yet, "Well, I've been reading stuff online, and it seems you have some unfinished business".

Sana rolled her eyes light-heartedly at the girl, "Isn't that a little bit obvious by now?”

"Just hear me out!" Momo defended her case, making sure to make a dramatic pause before giving her explanation, "Maybe you are seeking revenge for your death!"

This time Sana giggle, she found it adorable how serious Momo was being while talking about something as ridiculous as Sana being murdered, "I died in an accidental fire, not much revenge to get from there"

"But did they found your body?! Did you have a funeral? Maybe you need closure!" The girl refuted.

"I did, they found my body, or like, what was left of it" Sana replied in a soft voice, making Momo whisper out a regretful sorry as she felt guilty about bringing it up.

Shortly after that they moved on to other possible reasons for Sana’s permanence on earth. They spent the next two hours with Momo acting as some kind of detective and Sana turning down every single theory presented by the girl.

Momo sighed in a defeated manner, running out of explanations to give her ghost, "Well…it's time to turn to greater forces".

*******

When the phrase 'greater forces' was mentioned the last image that came to Sana's mind was one of Momo and 2 other girls -with one of them looking terrified, btw- standing in the middle of the room.

Based off Sana's reaction upon the entrance of the two girls Momo started doubting if telling Mina and Nayeon about this ghost situation was really a good idea.

After getting used to the ghost thing and no longer finding it completely absurd, Momo guessed it was finally time to tell her friends about it. Specially now, that she needed all the assistance she could get to help Sana cross over; at the time it seemed to be the most rational thing to do.

At first Nayeon thought Momo was talking nonsense, just fooling around, but after some insistence from Momo's part she decided to actually believe the girl; she even started getting excited by the idea of her best friend living with some 'cute ghost girl', as Nayeon had decided to name her, and then proceeded to tease her about it for the rest of the day.

Mina's initial reaction hadn't been so different, when Momo started telling her about it she just thought it was some type of joke, but as the story went on Mina realized it had some truth to it...and then she freaked out, "What if it is some type of evil spirit, a demon? Momo! This could be dangerous, don't get involved with this type of stuff! You need to move out from that house right now!”

Momo just ignored her.

Now with all of them -Sana included- finally together, Momo wasn't sure of how to proceed. She imagined Nayeon would manage to come up with something to do, she always did. Somehow her best friend always had a way to solve any problem Momo was dealing with. Mina, on the other hand, would help keep them grounded. Unlike the other two, the girl was the only levelheaded one, who thought of things objectively, in a realistic manner. If it wasn't for her always looking out for them, Momo and Nayeon would be a non-functional mess.

Upon entering, Nayeon started scanning every corner of the house, as if looking for something; she was inspecting every centimeter of the place, completely overlooking the sight of Mina who seemed on the verge of passing out –she had seen it so many time before, it had no effect on her now–

Momo was sure she could smell the fear coming out of the frightened girl as she finally spoke, “Spirit” her shaky voice barely intelligible, “We haven’t come here with intentions of hurting you. We come in a peaceful manner.”

“Just call her Sana” the two girls jump at the sudden sound of Momo’s loud voice breaking the silence Mina’s whispering had left in the room, “She doesn’t like being called spirit.”

“Sounds like someone’s in denial” Murmured Nayeon, who immediately received a dirty look from Mina as the girl rushed out an apology and talked about how ‘Nayeon never knows what she’s saying’, and that they weren’t looking to offend anybody.

While this scene played out Momo started missing the sound of Sana’s voice, and noticed that her ghost hadn’t said a single word since the 2 guests arrived; she also realized that her friends hadn’t directly acknowledged her yet.

“They can’t see you?” Momo asked turning to Sana, who nonchalantly replied “I guess not.”

Momo looked at her two friends, expecting them to react at Sana, but nothing came, just confused stares from seeing their friend talking “alone”.

Momo copied her friends’ looks of confusion and directed it to Sana, looking for some type of explanation as to why she seemed to be invisible to the other two girls in the room.

Sana rolled her eyes after realizing Momo was waiting for her to talk, “Honestly, it’s just that it takes too much energy to make myself visible to other humans” She shrugged,  “Do you know how exhausting it was to get noticed by you?”

“Then, how- why can I see you right now?”  Momo asked while ignoring the reproaches being directed at her.

Sana smirked, “I guess you’re special.”

The moment between the two was over before it had even started as Mina and Nayeon decided that now was the time to start questioning Momo. The 2 girls voicing their confusion about where the famous ghost was managed to interrupt Sana from getting embarrassed at what she had just said, and Momo from falling into an existential crisis for wondering what Sana had meant by that.

Nayeon was deep in thought as she started talking to no one specifically, “If she’s not speaking to us, should we bring a Ouija board then?” As soon as those words left her mouth she felt something tug at her hair, and automatically responded with a loud “ouch.”

“Sana opposes” Momo spoke for the ghost, “She says those are dangerous.”

Mina gasped at seeing Nayeon’s hair move on its own; she was shocked to say the least. By now she had assumed that there was no ghost at all and that Momo had just completely lost her mind.

For a moment she even found herself wondering if now _she_ was the one imagining things, maybe her mind was playing tricks on her, starting to see things that weren’t really there, but before she could continue going down this rabbit hole she felt her own hair being pulled by something…someone, actually.

“Sana says that you need to stop questioning her, she’s real” Momo explained to Mina while nodding her head. What had just happened caused Mina to become even more confused; _is this thing reading her mind?_

She heard Momo sigh before continuing her job as the spirit’s spokeswoman, “Ghosts are made from energy, Sana can feel yours being heavy with doubt and worry, she wants you to stop that.”

Mina couldn’t manage to do anything other than say a soft “sorry” in return, and then mentally scolding herself for making a ghost mad.

“Okay, so what now?” Interrupted Nayeon, but no one in the room seemed able to come up with an answer to that, not even Sana.

After what had felt like an eternity worth of debating on what their next move should be, they reached the conclusion that they should just…let the ghost be…Sana herself didn’t seem to mind being stuck on earth, or at least she didn’t show it.

The living girls seemed to be the only ones mostly interested in the “let’s help our ghost friend move on” mission, and not the ghost herself, so they just decided to let it go and focus on “other things”, which according to Nayeon were far important right now, and those things were a Q&A about the afterlife with Sana.

The Q&A turned out to be a complete fail, with the spirit being unable to answer most of the questions, “Listen, I’m just as confused as you all are, I’ve never been to any kind of ghost realm, or whatever…I don’t even know if that’s a thing” She said through Momo, “This is my first time being a ghost, I had never gotten stuck like this. I also wished I had the answers you’re asking me for.”

While repeating Sana’s words Momo took note on that last sentence, what did she exactly mean with this being her first time being stuck, how many times had Sana died? Don’t people just live and die once? She thought it was odd, and prayed that she will remember to ask her about it later.

The failed Q&A continued till Mina was no longer scared of the ghost, till Nayeon was comfortable enough to joke around with Sana, and till Momo forgot they were talking with a dead girl.

For the first time in years Sana stopped feeling as something that wasn’t supposed to be there, as an error in between life and death, she was finally able to forget that constant worry that she was so used to pushing at the back of as she indulged in the moment happening in front of her, she instead focused on laughing, on having conversations, on feeling alive.


	7. Chapter 7

Momo’s memory didn’t betray her.

Sana’s words kept replaying on her head every time she closed her eyes to try and get some sleep; _“I had never gotten stuck like this._ ”

Momo had lost _at least_ 2 hours of sleep so far while thinking about what Sana meant by that. Why had the ghost worded it like that?  If this was her first time getting stuck then what had the other times been like? Were there other times at all? How many? Is she over thinking this too much?

One question leads to another one and before she knows it this becomes one of Momo’s many existential crises, as she starts worrying about how much it would hurt to die over and over again. Do you get used to it with time? Why would you die more than once? Most importantly…Where on earth is Sana? Momo is in **urgent** need of her ghost friend right now, and she refuses to sleep without getting at least one of her questions answered.

Momo jumped at the silhouette of a girl suddenly appearing at the edge of her bed. Sana…

“You called for me” Said the shadowy figure, faking a deep and creepy voice.

Sana’s “scary” voice had the total opposite effect on Momo as its only result was to make the girl giggle, finding it cute rather than chill inducing. “I did?”

“Yeah” Replied Sana quickly dropping the demonic ghost act, “…So what’s up?”

Okay yes, Momo had been waiting hours for Sana to appear and give her answers, but now that she really was facing the spirit, she wasn’t sure how to get them. Should she just jump right to it, or slowly get Sana to open up to her.  Saying that she was conflicted would fall short.

“Um, nothing much, I guess” She said trying to continue Sana’s conversation, “I was just,” She hesitated for a few seconds before finding the right word, “Thinking” She finished.

Sana seemed unconcerned by Momo’s weird behavior, so the girl just took it as her cue to continue talking, “Yeah, so I- uh started wondering about some stuff.”

“Stuff as?” Replied Sana unimpressed.

“Death”

Sana’s eyes shot wide open as this caught her off guard, the sudden turn of the conversation gaining all her attention, “Death! Wow!” She repeated, “…What about death?”

“Well- Just, you know, like, isn’t it scary?”

Sana remained quiet, just raising her eyebrows as a response; Momo used that as her chance to just continue speaking, “You know, how quickly everything can go away?”

Again, Momo’s words surprised Sana, she really was getting the best of her tonight.

To be quite honest, Sana had never thought of death like that, as losing everything you have. Instead, she just saw it as something that has to happen; just like you have life, you also have death.  The memories are still there, you don’t lose those…If anything death helps you grow, you get to do it all over and over again, each time a little better after learning something new. But this isn’t something you can just explain, not right now, not to Momo. You don’t understand it till you know you’ve done it.

“Not at all, you get used to it” is all Sana said instead.

“To being dead?” Momo continued, and Sana replied with a simple yeah, thought what she had truly meant was that you get used to the idea of dying over and over again, but once more, this wasn’t something she could explain to Momo like it was nothing. The girl had to figure that part of life on her own.

“The less you think about it, the simpler it is” Sana decided to continue her answer, “Thinking about why you’re here makes it all lose its charm. You get too caught up wondering about it rather than doing it”

Sana thought it was unfair, that once she had figured out how life worked, she got stuck being dead. It all felts as if the entire universe had conspired against her out of fun.

Momo’s eyes hadn’t left the spirit’s face for a second; she feared that she would blink and the moment would be over. She found it all too fascinating to miss a second of it, she found Sana fascinating, and the more time she spent with the ghost, the more she wanted to know everything about her, to take in every little detail.

“Don’t you miss being alive?” Questioned Momo, her tone becoming more and more serious as the conversation continued.

“Sometimes” For the first time in the night Sana’s eyes met Momo, causing her to slightly shiver.

“I miss this” She said as she reached for Momo’s hand, nothing happening in return. The ghost’s hand went through Momo’s, the only indicator that anything was attempting to touch the girl being the cold sensation that spread over her entire arm.

However the gesture still made Momo’s heart race, it’s not an everyday occurrence to get this close to a spirit, and it is also not a daily thing for a ghost’s touch…or lack of it…to feel so familiar.

Immersed in her own thoughts and oblivious to all the emotions running through Momo’s head, Sana just continued speaking as if nothing had happened at all, “Sometimes I wonder if I’m really feeling anything at all, or I just think I am.”

It was the first time seeing such a serious and concerned look on the usually cheerful and friendly expression Sana always wore, “I mean, ghosts get sad, right? Angry, and happy? Maybe I’m just acting as I think I should, acting by a reflex…”

“You ever wonder about your family? Friends?” Asking questions and listening is all Momo could do right now, it wasn’t easy wrapping her head around everything Sana seemed to be feeling right now,  and so they both conformed with just listening to each other’s voice.

Sana shrugged, “I remember them well, and that’s all I need. I learned to accept that saying goodbye is a natural part of life a long time ago.” As she said this a strand of loose hair moved, covering part of her expression. Automatically Momo’s hand rose up to Sana’s face as she tried -and failed- to put it back into its original place.

Sana smiled, and in between soft giggles she said, “I felt that…”

Once more their eyes met, and this time the intense eye contact between the two wasn’t broken for a while, Momo sighed deeply as she asked the other girl “Sana, what are you feeling right now?”

As the question was being answered Sana heard Momo’s heart beat grow faster with every passing second, and she swore she could feel it as her own.

_Boom, boom_

“A lot” She replied.

“Well” Momo went on, “Whatever it is that you are feeling I can assure you that it is real”

Sana couldn’t help the smile that was creeping into her face as Momo finished that sentence, “’Cause I can feel it too.”

_Boomboomboomboom_

Momo went to bed that night with the image of Sana smiling engraved in her memory, and with the sound of her running heart as a lullaby.


	8. Chapter 8

Sana’s lips felt warm against her own. The heat of the moment immediately spreading all around Momo’s body the second Sana’s crashed into her, making the winter air around them seem insignificant.

Despite it being the first time their lips touched, the strawberry flavor from Sana’s lips already knew its way into Momo’s mouth.

It suddenly felt as if everything around them had stopped; as if the world had paused for a second to give all of its attention to two girls sharing one breath, as if this affirmation of love was an event the entire universe had been waiting for, and none of two girls minded the attention; both too focused on one another to even notice it.

In the midst of it all Momo noticed that it all had **actually** come to a stop; it was as if the moment had been paused, left there to be frozen in time, forever; and only then she came to the realization that somewhere along the kiss she had stopped being herself and somehow became an spectator, almost like watching a movie, and that’s when she noticed.

Momo could still taste the strawberry as she woke up. The feeling of Sana’s body and lips against hers still vivid in her mind, and for a second she truly believed that the kiss had actually happened…and then she remembered Sana is kinda…dead.

_Sana._

What was it about this girl that had Momo so captivated? Prior to this dream Sana was only a ghost who haunted Momo’s apartment, but somehow having had experienced Sana so alive had Momo wondering who she really was.

Before being a spirit she had been **_someone_** , more than just a ghost; someone with a life, a history, with likes and dislikes, with a favorite movie, and a favorite song. The thought made Momo hurt for some reason, and she found herself wishing she had gotten the chance to meet Sana under different circumstances.

Thinking of the ghost like this made Momo realize that the girl was practically a stranger to her, she was currently living with someone she knew absolutely nothing about, but what she found even more unsettling was that she didn’t mind. Not one bit. The idea of sharing her roof with the girl didn’t wake up any feelings of concern in Momo…Why?

She started to think about what other people would do in her situation. Would they be this unbothered by a ghost that appears out of nowhere? Would they also let it become a part of their daily life?

While being so caught up in her thoughts she almost missed the temperature drop in the room, but then again Sana’s presence could hardly go unnoticed by Momo these days.

“Sana” She speaks into the air, “What were you like? Alive, I mean.”

Sana was getting used to Momo throwing this type of questions to her, and so this time she remained unfazed by the sudden seriousness of the conversation, “I like to think I was pretty much the same I am now, except…maybe a little less dead.”

Momo let out a laugh which could have easily being mistaken by a heavy breath if you weren’t paying enough attention, but of course Sana was.

For the rest of that moonless night Sana’s eyes became Momo’s guidance in the dark; the two girls spoke till the stars were replaced by clouds, and till the rising sunlight had placed itself so perfectly that it was able to shine both through the window, and through Sana’s figure, as she rambled about memories of how her life used to be.

She talked about how much she used to enjoy music, singing to it, dancing it; she told Momo about how she used to always stay up late to watch the night sky, struggling to keep her eyes awake only to look at the stars for as long as possible. Momo also found out that Sana’s favorite days were lazy days, lounging around her house with nothing to do, watching movies and eating her favorite ice cream…raspberry and chocolate, she loved the simplicity of it, sometimes she’d just walk to the closest park and enjoy the feeling of fresh air and daylight hitting her skin. She missed those simple things the most.

While listening to the ghost talk, Momo thought that she sounded like the type of person she would love, she was one hundred percent sure that if Sana was a physical human being, she’d be head over heels for the girl, completely in love, it’s just so easy to do so, but she can’t now, she couldn’t; you can’t be in love with a ghost, right?

*******

Now that they had both grown completely comfortable in each other’s presence, they had started developing some kind of routine. Every day Sana would wait for Momo to comeback from class -or shift on the days she worked- and then listen to the girl rant about her day; because of this same reason Momo started jokingly call the ghost her own personal Hachiko. Sana thought it was cute, and mentioned that she even looked like the famous dog.

During most occasions Sana would only listen, not having much to say herself after staying inside the apartment the entire time. Some days she would decide to leave those four walls and take a walk in some park, or just go around the city, she would then tell Momo about all the different people and things she saw. She would talk about how there was always this one lady walking her dogs around the block, or about a group of kids that were always playing games in the park, sometimes she would mention a couple that used to always make out behind a tree while thinking no one was watching, but she hadn’t seen them for the last week…she wondered if they had broken up.

On days in which Sana noticed that Momo looked tired, or that she had had a bad day, the spirit decided to show off some of her ghost powers as a way to entertain and cheer up the girl. Sana would make things levitate across the room, or mess around with the lights. Her personal favorite was to put on entire plays in which stuffed animals moving on their own worked as the main actors; those would not end till Momo had laughed out loud at least 3 times.

  *******

“You’ve been acting weird lately, you know?” Said Sana over the sound of a TV that no one was watching.

Momo knew this conversation was coming, she hated to admit it but for the last couple of days she had been feeling awkward around Sana, she wasn’t sure if the air around them had turned uncomfortable once she started dreaming of kissing the girl and doing...other stuff with her, or after she noticed not only how pretty and soft Sana’s lips looked, but also how they seemed to always have a rosy tint to them, like that of strawberries.

But she didn’t feel like confessing that, not today, not ever, and so she tried to deny anything being wrong, but only got more questions in return, “You know I can sense you being nervous around me, I don’t like it.”

“It’s nothing to worry about, seriously” Momo said honestly, she decided that dreams were just dreams and they meant nothing, regardless of how real they felt, and of how her heart raced whenever she thought about them, or how the idea of Sana and her being like that made her feel jittery and on the verge of passing out…yes, it was definitely not more than just her imagination being silly.

After reassuring Sana, Momo reached out to pat her on the leg, forgetting for a moment that the girl was a nonphysical object, her hand immediately got hit by a cold feeling which spread across her arm, sending chills to her entire body. Sana didn’t seem to mind the failed gesture, but Momo shot her an apologetic smile.

_See Momo, she’s only a ghost, anything happening between you two is not only completely impossible but **also** ridiculous to even think about._

She wished she could convince herself, she really did.


	9. Chapter 9

Momo was DYING.

…Or at least that’s what it felt like.

The entire day had been absolutely dreadful, every single second of it, and Momo couldn’t wait for the moment she could finally go home, ~~see Sana~~ and get some well deserved rest.

She had been feeling a bit ill since the beginning of the week, and as the days passed it kept getting exponentially worse; it was finally Friday and Momo refused to let the virus win and figured that she could hold it together for just **one** more day… She was wrong.

The feeling of being 5 seconds away from passing out hadn’t left her alone for the whole day; she had also been getting dizzy every time she stood up, and eyes stinging whenever she looked at anything for more than a minute, somewhere along her suffering she wondered if staring at Sana would hurt, because technically the girl wasn’t really there so she wouldn’t be focusing her sight on something…

 _Even if it did hurt_ , she said to herself, _I wouldn’t look away_ ; Momo also got curios as to whether ghosts could get sick or not, does Sana get headaches? If Momo died right now would her ghost remain ill her entire afterlife?

Every thought Momo had, somehow led to Sana, she blamed it on her mind being all loopy from the sickness.

With the mental image of Sana accompanying her through the day, she was finally able to finish it, holding the tears forming behind her eyes.

“Sana!” Momo whined despite her sore throat right after entering her apartment, “I will be joining you on the other side soon, wait for me!” She was barely able to finish speaking as 1) Her voice gave out, cracking mid sentence 2) She crashed on the closest sofa to her, pillows smudging her voice making it barely audible.

A worried Sana materialized out of nowhere, “Shut up! Don’t say that!” She sounded almost offended at Momo’s joke, “What’s wrong?” But it only took one look at the sick girl for Sana to get her answer, “Ah, you don’t look good” She responded to her own question, “Here, let’s get you to bed.”

*******

Momo couldn’t remember how she got in bed, but she didn’t care either, she was just glad to finally be there. Hours could have passed since she got home, but also minutes, she wasn’t able to figure it out, but thinking hurt right now, so she decided to not mind about it.

Sana was there, she knew it even when her tired eyes were unable to open; she could feel her, the cold touch felt relieving in comparison to Momo’s otherwise over-heated body.

She could feel herself falling rapidly into sleep again, Sana’s voice soothing her as she said “Get some sleep now, if you need anything just call for me, okay?”

But Momo didn’t want to have to call Sana for her to be there, fighting her body’s urge to stay still and make no effort at all she spoke, “Sana, wait…Don’t leave.”

Even with her closed eyes she could tell Sana wasn’t moving, no reaction at all, was she gone already? “Stay with me” she continued nonetheless, patting her in bed as she said, “Sleep here, with me” But there was still no movement in the room, does she have to scream for the ghost to come now?

“Sana” This time her voice spoke softly, growing more and more tired with each word, “Are you still here?”

Finally the stillness of the room was broken as the spirit talked, and Momo felt the spot next to her sink as someone laid on the bed, “I’m always here.”

In that moment Momo swore she could feel Sana’s nonexistent breath against her neck, hear the raced heart palpitations - _or were this her own?_ -

Now Momo couldn’t tell if her face feeling extremely hot, her sweaty palms, and uneasy stomach were due to the illness taking over her body, or cause of the girl currently resting next to her…

*******

Momo woke up without knowing when and for how long she had fallen asleep, she was facing Sana now, and though the room had become dark, she could still easily recognize the figure of the sleeping girl.

 _Huh,_ she thought, _so ghosts do sleep._

As she was absorbed in traveling every single detail of Sana’s face with her eyes she was hit by the blurry memory of the dream she had just woken up from, which she would describe more as an out of body experience.

Momo couldn’t even begin to make a thought out of what she had just seen in her dreams as she could barely remember any of it. It had felt like entering another reality. It was her and Sana; it always was, but not quite entirely.

To Momo not only this dream, but all of those Sana appeared in -even the ghost herself- all felt as a song she once loved but has now forgotten all the lyrics to, as failing to remember an entire scene from a movie that is supposed to be her favorite, like not being able to name one of the characters from some book that she’s read at least 3 times; a memory that struggles to remain alive even though everything inside her is telling her she should remember.

Sana was sloppy first kisses, shy hands holding each other, whispered I love you’s, a first and last love; she was everything Momo could think about, _but_ also nothing at all; just a ghost.

Momo, dull in her thoughts, started questioning if that really was a “but” anymore.

She managed to fall into rest once again, with Sana’s peaceful face calming the storm of confusing thoughts consuming her mind.

It was clear that Momo wasn’t dying, as much as she had felt like it initially; but for now, if she really were to die, she wouldn’t mind it _that_ much, as she not only spent her last moments next to Sana, but she would also get to spend the rest of them with her.


	10. Chapter 10

“Sana,” Momo’s soft voice said, almost fading way as sleep took over the sick girl’s body, “Don’t leave, ok? Let me keep you.”

Sana stayed silent; she always seemed to get her words stolen by the now sleeping girl. Sana hoped that Momo had really meant those words, because she also wanted to stay next the girl…was she being selfish? By wanting to have Momo for herself, for knowing that she and Momo could never happen, but still wishing for the girl to reciprocate her feelings, was she only thinking about herself right now?

Sana answered her own questions with a _yes_ , but what else could she do in a situation such as this one? She **loves** Momo, and she knows the living girl loves her too…deep down…somewhere deep in Momo’s soul, so deep that not even Momo herself can reach it, there is love for Sana.

_There has to be, right?_

Yes, of course there is…they’ve lived their love over a thousand times, what they feel for each other has become part of their spirits, it has been rooted into their entire existences. Sana’s minds these days kept wandering towards the fact that Momo had no recollection of it all, she knew that’s the way things are supposed to be, why would anyone ever remember their past lives? But she couldn’t help to feel upset about it. The feeling of longing for those memories to come back to Momo always managed to creep its way back into her. Sometimes, when the ghost looked into Momo’s eyes, she could see it there, the feeling of a lifelong love captured in one stare.

She wondered if this is how it was going to be from now on, her and Momo, together; she used to believe that all she had to do to finally cross over was meet the girl…Almost as if thinking of life as a video game, about how you can’t pass levels if you still have one mission left.  Momo was that mission, but now, she had completed it, so why was she still here?

If moving on required for Sana to spend her days next to Momo, if these two being together is what it took, then Sana was more than eager to help destiny complete it mission.

*******

“Hey” Said Nayeon as she barged into Momo’s apartment, followed by Mina

Momo used to yell at them for invading her privacy, to which Nayeon would yell back at saying it was her fault for not locking her apartment, which would left Momo with no come back given that she always chose not to lock her door so Mina and Nayeon could come in whenever they wanted.

“Don’t get mad at me” Continued the older girl, making Momo squint her eyes at them, as doubt filled her thoughts, “Don’t give me a reason to” she replied.

Nayeon shot her back an exaggerated smile as she carried on talking “Well, I made some research and um, I found something interesting!”

Okay, Momo was 0% mad and 100% confused.

“Wait, research? About what?” She interrupted her friend.

Momo got a look of disbelief from Nayeon, as if the answer was rather obvious, “Sana, duh.”

200% confused, “Huh? Why?”

Just like Momo’s lack of understanding intensified, so did Nayeon’s questioning look, “Oh, I don’t know, to help her cross over, maybe?”

Oh, so that’s what this is about…. “What? I thought we were done with that” Momo looked over at Mina for reassurance, but the girl was jus minding her own business, mindlessly sitting on the other side of the room, probably paying no attention to the conversation at all.

“Well, yeah, but then we thought and-”

“She thought” Interrupted Mina, who apparently _was_ paying attention to the interaction taking place, making Nayeon sigh as she corrected herself.

“ _I_ thought, and maybe it would be helpful to find out more details about her life!”

“Nayeon” Said Momo, as she prepared to crush Nayeon’s fantasy of becoming the savior of Sana’s soul. “She remembers everything.”

“Oh” Replied the girl, who then thought for a second, “I mean, maybe there’s a missing piece, something that she unconsciously forgot about.”

Momo hated to admit that Nayeon’s words were making sense, something like that could most definitely happen, but the idea of there being an answer as to what Sana was doing here, a way to help her cross over, didn’t excite her at all right now, actually it was making her upset.

Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by Nayeon’s voice, “What? Isn’t this what we want? What Sana wants?”

Momo cleared her throat and nodded and she thought about how much hate she had for the fact that she had always being one to wear her heart on the sleeve.

Apparently Momo’s performance hadn’t been very convincing, as Nayeon insisted once again “This is what we want, right?” this time her tone a bit more harsh and serious.

When there was no immediate reply from Momo, Mina decided to _finally_ get involved in the conversation, “Momo…” was all she said. Her voice soft, in comparison to Nayeon’s, and full of what seemed to be worry and uncertainty.

“What?! Yeah! Of course it is” Momo replied, this time with no hesitation, “I just thought we had agreed on dropping it, since it led nowhere.”

“Right, but we-” Began Nayeon, but was quickly cut off by Mina once again, “She! Not me!”

Nayeon turned her head towards Mina and looked at her with what Momo could only describe as a desire to kill her right there and then.

“WE” Repeated Nayeon with a defiant look on her face, this time Mina just let her continue “found the place where her body is buried, maybe that could help?”

The mention of Sana’s grave made Momo grow uncomfortable for some reason, though she made her best effort to not show it, “How?”

This time it was actually Mina the one to talk, beating Nayeon who was already opening her mouth to reply, “It could trigger some memories or something of that sort, we lose nothing trying.”

Next came another voice that had been rather quite throughout the entire conversation, actually, it wasn’t even supposed to be part of it, it was Sana, who was now sitting next to Momo, looking like an excite puppy “I wanna do that!”

“You were listening?!” Shouted Momo as she directed her stare at the now present ghost, making her two friends look at the empty spot next to Momo, which they guessed the ghost was taking.

“You were talking about me, of course I was”

Momo rolled her eyes as she took a big sigh and turned back towards Nayeon and Mina, who were looking at her expectantly, “Well…looks like we’re doing it.”

*******

It felt…… ** _Odd_** ….To say the least, _very_ odd.

Sana had never been exposed to the aftermath of her own death before, the idea of having a funeral, a tomb, or anything of that sort is not something that lingered around her mind a lot, not till today.

While seeing her own name written in the tombstone, indicating her year of birth and death, she wondered if she was supposed to be doing this, is something like this okay to do? Does it go against the unwritten rules of the death?

Being there had provoked a ton of different emotions and thoughts in Sana; so much was going through her mind in that moment, that afterwards she found herself to be in some sort of cathartic state, in which she had no recollection of any details from what she had just gone through.

How can someone feel so much, yet absolutely nothing at the same time?

Momo found herself also wondering about the same thing, for she too was swimming in a sea of unknown and overwhelming emotions, feeling as if she could drown any minute now.

Her humor had been down the entire time while visiting the graveyard, thing which she could not finish to understand, why this situation was taking such a toll on her mood was something she couldn’t wrap her mind around; she tried to ignore it, and instead convince herself that she should be happy for Sana, who was potentially going to finally get closure of some sort, but that didn’t seem to work, as the air around her was still heavy with clear discontent.

Though it was probably not that hard to do –given that Momo wasn’t being as subtle about her feelings as she thought– Mina noticed that something was bothering her friend, and so naturally the first thing she did when they got home was question her about it.

“Ah, it’s nothing; I guess the topic of death is just…you know” Muttered Momo, lie to which Mina had nothing to say back. Momo didn’t like the loud accusative tone the silence had, so she rushed to talk again, “And clearly nothing happened, Sana’s still here so it was just a big loss of time”

Mina remained doing what she did best, staying quite and just observing. That’s the thing about the girl, in a room in which everyone’s busy talking, she would rather concentrate in listening, in watching people, reading them, and God was she good at that. She always seemed to know what Momo was thinking, which was great for when advice was needed, she was a friend you could always rely on, always understanding your feelings before you even start telling her about them, before you even understand them yourself, but in situations such as this one, that became a double-edged sword.

Mina wasn’t dumb, and she could see right through Momo, there really was no point in lying to her but Momo wasn’t a fan of the idea of doing the opposite to that right now. She knew her friend wouldn’t fall for it but at least she tried.

“I get it, you’ve spend so much time with her the last couple of months. You’re literally living with her; it’s only expected for you to start having certain feelings for her.”

It only took one look into Mina’s eyes for Momo to know that the other girl had everything figured out, and that she meant the words she was saying, there was no judgment in her stare.

“But, Momo, you also have to remember that Sana-she’s dead. Nothing can happen between you two, you know that right?”

It sting, Momo’s heart. For a moment she feared her eyes would betray her and start crying for having to actually get through this conversation. Momo had always been a crier, and never good at talking about her feelings.

She likes Sana _,_ and it was _quite_ scary and confusing, what do you do when you start falling for a ghost, how does this even happen? How does she proceed?

She gives Mina a half-hearted smile, she knows her friend worries and is only looking out for her. This is something from which Momo has been doomed to end up hurting from since the beginning.

There was so much Momo could have said at the moment, but all she managed to do was nod, and reply back with a broken “Don’t be silly, of course I know.”

After saying those words Momo felt the room suddenly become warmer, the cold air in the room which had gone unnoticed by both girls was now gone, and only then Momo realized.

 _Sana_.

She had been here. She heard the conversation.


	11. Chapter 11

Mina was gone now; she had left shortly after the conversation, Momo rushing her out as she pretended to have suddenly “remembered” an essay she had to write for some class.

“Sana!” She called for the ghost as soon as she was left alone. Momo’s loneliness didn’t last long as Sana almost instantly presented herself in the room, an unreadable expression in her face. Before the ghost could say anything Momo decided to talk, “About what you just heard”

But before she could finish her sentence Sana out spoke her, “Don’t worry, I get it. You’re right.”

She sounded neutral, not an ounce of hurt or sadness in her voice, but also not sincerity, it was as if she was reading from some script.

Momo tried to speak, but was once again unable to because of the ghost, “It’s not that, Sana I-”

“Momo stop” Said Sana quickly, “Mina is right and you know it, ours is a relationship that could never work, not like that.”

It was barely there, but when those words left her mouth Momo heard the sound of an upset voice.

“But I want it to” Replied Momo, unlike Sana’s her tone was drenched with emotion.

The ghost broke eye contact and Momo started missing the heavy stare on her as soon as it was gone, “It just can’t” Continued Sana, her eyes meeting the ground, “It would be selfish for me to give you hope, it’s just impossible.”

“It isn’t” The words struggled as Momo spoke, her voice revealing against her as it became shaky.

“That’s nonsense, of course it is” Was all Sana had to say, and for the first time since knowing the spirit, Momo wished she would just stop talking, the more Sana said, the less Momo wanted to hear.

“It’s like you don’t want this to work” Momo was doubtful as she said this, there was no way Sana wouldn’t want this too, or at least that’s what she wanted to hear.

“Well maybe I don’t” Sana’s eyes returned to Momo, but it felt as if looking into nothingness, Sana had never felt so empty, so distant, “I don’t want you to be stuck with me forever. You can’t even touch me, that’s not how a relationship works.”

“I don’t care about that, I care about you” As Momo’s voice filled the room, something flashed in the ghost’s eyes, for a brief second she looked thoughtful, considering what the living girl had just said, but that was gone once she spoke back, “That’s not enough.”

At this point Momo couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t break her calm façade, any word that she said would start a battle within her which she wouldn’t be able to finish. Her eyes filling with heartache the more she looked at Sana, who then decided to break the silence, as she couldn’t take the image of the hurting girl standing in front of her any longer, “I’m just gonna go okay?”

The words from Sana only made the pain in both Momo’s eyes and voice more noticeable as she talked, “What do you mean go?”

“I have to” Is all the ghost managed to voice, Momo’s stare was becoming unbearable now, and Sana was starting to grow exasperated with the situation, angry at the fact that she was the one causing it, “This doesn’t make sense Momo, _we_ don’t make sense, is it that hard to understand? Even if Mina hadn’t said it it’s obvious, can you stop it now?!”

Sana’s words had been harsh, and she knew it, she couldn’t stand herself right now, so why should Momo.

The other girl remained silent for a second, both of them feeling unknown to one another, foreign; if they tried enough they’d be able to see they were actually exactly the same.

Finally Momo spoke, “You can’t leave” It sounded more as a plea, than a statement.

“Why?” Came out of Sana’s mouth, for a few seconds she wished Momo could convince her, she wanted to have a reason to stay, to go through all of this; it was a weak moment, as she knew the only rational thing to do was to let Momo move on with her life, a life with no ghost in it; but she still allowed herself to ask the question, to have one last moment of hope.

“Because I like you, I like having you here” This time Momo sounded more confident in what she was saying, doubt hidden at the edge of her voice.

Remorse was written in Sana’s face as she gave her answer, “I liked my life, that didn’t stop it from going away.”

“That’s different”

“How?” Wishful thinking filled Sana’s mind again as she begged for Momo to give her an answer that would convince her to go against what she knew she had to do, and stay.

That didn’t happen, “You have a choice now, you could stay with me”

“I’m choosing not to” Now it would have been unable to tell who was hurting the most from the words Sana spoke, “I was just with you because I thought it’d help me move on, clearly I was wrong. I have no reason to stay now.”

None of the girls were sure of in which point tears started soaking their faces, neither of them caring anymore about keeping their composure.

“You don’t mean that” Momo sounded broke.

“You don’t know that, you don’t know _me,_ Momo. Stop acting like you understand my feelings.” Sana knew it was for the best to let Momo hate her, to make Momo let her go.

“If you really feel like that then just go already” It was harder for Momo to hear her own words than Sana’s now.

“Goodbye, Momo”

Just as quickly as Sana had appeared, she had also vanished.


	12. Chapter 12

It had been awfully quite for the last couple of days, the house being the total opposite of Momo’s state of mind, which was currently a chaos.

She had repeated Sana’s words in her mind at least a thousand times by now, going over the conversation multiple times a day, thinking about stuff that she could have done differently, how if given the chance now, she would chose other words to say instead.

It had been a bit over a week now, and she was desperate to hear Sana’s voice again, though she didn’t know what she could possibly say to the ghost, she longed to have another conversation with her, feel her presence at least.

But there was nothing.

She had tried calling for her, shouted her name; at nights where sleep couldn’t seem to reach her is when she looked for the spirit the most. It felt empty, everything, not only the apartment, Momo too felt as if had lost a part of herself with Sana’s departure.

In those nights in which Momo managed to close her eyes, she saw Sana, of course she did. Whenever this happened she knew it was all in her imagination, and strangely she was glad about it, that way she could steal from Sana all the time and kisses the ghost had taken with her when she decided to leave. Even if it was a dream, it eased Momo’s broken spirit, gave her mind some rest.

During one of the many times where Momo replayed their conversation in her mind, she remembered Sana mentioning how she believed Momo would help her move on; no matter how much she thought about it she couldn’t make sense of it, of what the girl had meant by that, but then again, she couldn’t wrap her head around any of this.

When had she started caring so much for this girl? When did she get so involved? How had her liking for Sana turned into _more_ , and how did that _more_ transform into affliction? Could she really lose someone who was never hers? Those questions circled around her mind for days.

*******

 Sana woke up not knowing where she was or what she was doing there; she couldn’t even remember how she had gotten into that place in which everything, even she, felt fragile, weak; like it could all break and disappear any second now.

She felt tired, too exhausted to even open her eyes, the only thing that she could recognize in the void that surrounded her was the sound of her name. Someone was calling her, but as much as she tried to, she couldn’t distinguish who it was, or give a response to the call. She feels herself getting dizzy and then darkness again. Everything ceases to exist.

What brings her back next time is the noise of a muffled cry, now Sana recognizes the source of the tears almost immediately; suddenly Sana’s mind is filled only with the thought of Momo.

 As much as she tried to, Sana couldn’t seem to be able to leave this place, to get out of this trance-like state, and hadn’t she been so tired she would have felt scared. The urge of giving up once again, of falling into nothingness seemed tempting, but Sana instead tried to understand what was happening to her, why was she being like this?

Impotence filled her body as even thinking felt challenging right now, it was as if all her energy had left her, making it almost impossible to do something as simple as exist. Had her fight with Momo being too demanding? She wondered if ghosts weren’t meant to go through that many emotions. That seemed to be the only explanation for what was happening, the argument must have taken a toll in her energy, affecting her in the worst way possible.

Sana tried hard to make memory of what happened. She remembered leaving Momo’s home and then just wandering around the city, right now she couldn’t figure out for how long she had done so, the last thing in her mind was being tired like never before; a weak memory of the feeling of fading away, and then nothing.

Now, for the first time in who knows how long, Sana is able to open her eyes, she finds herself in a familiar place, finally, its Momo’s apartment. She hears a lot of different voices, it requires some concentration to understand them and what they were talking about, though she is able to recognize her name a couple of times as they speak.

“I’m telling you this will work, it has to!” It sounded like Nayeon, and then a soft, passive-aggressive voice that almost went unnoticed by the barely conscious ghost, “Nayeon, I swear to God if you end up summoning some type of demon instead, we will sacrifice your life in spare of ours” For a moment Sana felt the energy, and even the live that left her body years ago suddenly make a comeback as Momo’s laugh filled her ears.

“That won’t be necessary Mina, we’re calling Sana so we are gonna get Sana…And Momo will finally get to talk to her, right Momo?”

There was an exchange of words that she didn’t manage to catch, as she was too busy trying to stand up and move around, once she finally faced the trio she was able to fully grasp the situation developing in the room. The 3 living girls were all sitting in a circle surrounding what seemed to be a Ouija board, as they all chanted Sana’s name, making it seem as a scene for some cheesy horror movie.

 _These idiots_ , thought Sana.

The girls showed no reaction to Sana, not even Momo, making the spirit guess that they couldn’t see her for some reason. It had been a while since Sana last made any apparitions in the physical world, that somehow now materializing required some extra effort from her part.

It takes her a while to get noticed by the other girl; she realizes she’s succeeded once 3 sharp gasps are heard through the room. For the first time Mina and Nayeon can see her, and the latter girl bites her tongue and tries her hardest to not make a make a point about how cute Sana was, because right now was **not** the right moment…obviously she failed and still commented on it.

“Sana….” This time it was Momo’s voice the one talking, and suddenly the serious feel of the situation returned.

Upon seeing the ghost again Momo couldn’t help but notice how different the girl looked, though it seemed almost impossible she looked even paler than before, almost completely transparent, her figure blending with the image behind her, she felt less…physical, and there was some type of radiance coming from her. Nonetheless Momo took in her image, every part of her body and soul that had been aching for the spirit’s presence falling into the feeling of fulfillment, into a warm feeling, which only grew stronger once Sana spoke.

“I thought I told your dumb asses to never use a board! Those things are dangerous! Close it!”

Okay…Maybe that was not the most romantic thing that could have come out of Sana’s mouth, and not exactly how Momo had imagined seeing her again would be like, but still, with the most sincere smile drawn in her face, Momo did as she was told.

*******

After being yelled at by Sana for making ‘dumb decisions’ and ‘risking their lives’, Mina and Nayeon decided to leave the room to give the other two girls some privacy, though if it had been up to Nayeon –who had to be physically dragged out of the door by Mina- they would have stayed in to listen.

“You look different” Momo was the one to break the silence first.

It takes Sana everything she has in her to stop focusing in the girl’s eyes, and give Momo a reply “I feel different”

“Is that bad?” Sana tilts her head as she doesn’t know what to reply; she’s not sure what _different_ even means.

“I’m not sure…” Is the answer she settles for.

Sana keeps staring at Momo, who seems to be struggling to find words to say. The ghost looks into her eyes, trying to find any remains of the fight they had, but there’s nothing; the girl didn’t seem to be hiding any hurt or grudges in her, and Sana quietly thanked the universe, because the idea of Momo being mad at her was the most terrifying thought that had ever crossed her mind.

“I actually wanted to talk you about something…” The serious look on Momo’s face still feeling foreign in the girl, Sana had never grown accustomed to it, and by now she was convinced she never would.

“Me too” Replied Sana in between sighs; she wanted to tell her that she’s sorry, that she hates the words that came out of her mouth, she wants to also talk about how weird and scary the last couple of days had been for her, but more than anything, she wanted to hear Momo’s voice again, to have Momo talk to her, cause that’s what she had been missing the most, “You go first.”

A small smile formed in Momo’s face, as she took the offer, “I’ve been…seeing stuff in my sleep…And I- uh I’m starting to think they are more than dreams. They feel too real, Sana. You- We feel too real. Is it?”

Sana takes a moment to think about the question, like, _really_ think about it, what should she say? Is she supposed to say yes in a situation such as this one? She had never told Momo about their previous lives together because that’s not the way it’s supposed to be, that would have been like cheating the universe, like breaking the natural course of life.

But now, Momo had somehow started to figure it out on her own, to remember stuff, to remember _them_ , and Sana had no idea what to do about it.

In Sana’s battle of feelings versus reason, feelings won, “You know what you said when we held each other for the last time? You said we’d meet again.”

“Hmmm” Said Momo, a smug smile replacing the worried look in her face, “Seems like I kept my word.”

Then Sana threw herself over Momo, wishing more than ever to be able to embrace the girl, to feel her warmth, their bodies touching, but as expected, it didn’t happen.

Momo felt as if the blood in her veins had been replaced with freezing water, it was like lying in a bed of ice. Her entire body indulged in a feeling so _so_ cold that it started to burn, but she didn’t dare to move, she didn’t want to.

“Why can’t I remember?” She said, the ghost still holding her in her arms- trying to.

Sana shrugged, and Momo was able to actually feel it as she moved “You’re not supposed to.”

The ghost moved back now, setting Momo free, and the cold feeling left Momo’s body so quickly that it almost felt as if it had been stolen from her; Momo looked at Sana with the most intense look she had ever wore, “Did I ever tell you I love you?”

The words worked as skillful brushes would do on a canvas, and painted the biggest and most beautiful smile on Sana’s face, “Oh, a hundred times.”

This information made Momo frown, “Then how do I make this one special?”

“It’s always special” The smile plastered on Sana only grew bigger with each word she said.

“I love you” Spoke Momo, seeming rather embarrassed

 “I love you too, Momo”

That was the last time she saw Sana.


	13. Chapter 13

It happened quickly, so quickly that it almost didn’t hurt; _almost_.

“I love you too, Momo” As the words left Sana’s lips, Momo saw something in her eyes that had never been there before, a spark in them, a spark that only intensified the more Momo stared at it, within seconds the light that had been surrounding Sana’s frame grew stronger, so strong that it made Momo squint here eyes.

She heard the ghost pronounce her name, followed by an “I think it’s happening”, which Momo couldn’t help but laugh at, since it was quite obvious that it was. Sana mimicked her laughter, neither of them wanting to make this a situation to feel sad about, instead clinging to the euphoric feeling which seemed to be overshadowing any other emotion on their hearts.

As the light began to diminish so did Sana’s figure, becoming less and less visible with each passing second; as she looked into Momo’s eyes, Sana saw it again, that one stare that Momo would give her once in a while, that one stare that held all the love they had shared for years, all their stories, their time together, and she hated to leave those eyes behind once again, but she was okay with it.

“Maybe next time I get to kiss you” Said Sana’s voice, barely audible.

Momo doesn’t notice, but her eyes start to water, and her voice breaks as she speaks, “I will make sure you do.”

Sana then starts a sentence that couldn’t be finished, the incomplete sound of a half said goodbye that remained vivid in Momo’s mind through the years.

Momo tried to hate the moment, she really did, but how could she? That was their last moment together, the moment where they finally got to share one love; where the universe could finally pause and take a breath, as this chapter in the history of 2 soul mates was, after a long time, finished.

Their destiny had been met now; they got to love each other, in a way this was only a beginning, they would be able to do it again, indulge themselves with that love over and over and over again.

Theirs was a never ending love story.


	14. epilogue

Momo missed her; that was the hardest part.

Sometimes after a long day she would call for Sana, seeking the comfort that the girl used to give her after times such as those.

She would also miss Sana’s company when she was in a happy mood, wanting to tell the ghost about how much of an amazing day she had had, to gush about how she got a perfect score in her test, or to be able to laugh with her about something dumb Nayeon had said earlier that day.

In those moments a sigh would come out of her mouth instead of Sana’s name. And then she would just think about how she couldn’t wait to see her again, “Dumbass, you left too early” she would say to the air sometimes.

There were nights in which tears were the only thing that seemed to calm the thirst her soul felt, and she would always allow them to because she couldn’t think of any other thing to do other than cry.

Momo was hugged by the years, her memories of Sana only becoming stronger with time; all of them vivid in her mind. Dreaming about her almost every night, she would feel closer to the ghost as their days together got further away.

Momo knew that she wouldn’t cling onto the girl forever, it did no one good in doing so, but so far, each day she would wake up and say, _for today I’ll love her still_.

Momo waits for the time in which she would not feel the need of having the girl next to her, but for now she’ll let the pain of missing her be a part of her life.

*******

It is only once Momo’s time on earth is over that her time with Sana can start once again. As her soul enters whatever plane comes after the physical one, she finds Sana, waiting for her.

The girl’s eyes shine upon seeing Momo, they shine as much as the last time they had been together, maybe even brighter, “Ah!” She says, “You’re finally here. Now we can go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess is a bittersweet ending ~   
> if ANYONE came this far and actually finished this...thank you so much it means A LOT and i really really hope this was of your liking!!!!! i loved writting it so i can only hope at least One person enjoyed reading it hheh


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